spring
it was a beautiful morning. she got out of bed and smiled to herself. maybe today would be a better day, maybe she will find what's been lost. taking in a fresh breath of air, she walked towards the mirror.
"today will be a good day," she told the girl in the mirror. another smile unfurled on her face as she turned away to get ready.

summer
it was a beautiful morning. she got out of bed and smiled to herself. maybe today would be a better day, maybe she's already found what's been lost. taking in a fresh breath of air, she walked towards the mirror.
"today will be a good day," she told the girl in the mirror. another smile unfurled on her face as she turned away to get ready. "it will be a good day."
the walls that held the mirror sighed, just like a kid with irrepressible burdens on her shoulders.

autumn
it was a beautiful morning. she got out of bed and smiled to herself. maybe today could be a better day, maybe she might find what's been lost. taking in a fresh breath of air, she walked towards the mirror.
"today will be a good day," she told the girl in the mirror. another smile unfurled on her face, the one that would get her through the day, but the spark just fell from her face. "it has to be a good day."
the walls moaned and creaked, with the sigh that's never failed to linger around in the mornings now. the girl turned away.

winter
it was a beautiful morning. she got out of bed and smiled to herself. maybe today could be a better day, maybe she might find what's been lost. taking in a fresh breath of air, she walked towards the mirror.
"today will be a good day," she told the girl in the mirror. another smile unfurled on her face, the one that could get her through the day. "it has to be a good day."
the walls swayed. the girl turned away.

the mirror cracked.

I actually wrote this a while back, 28th of October of the previous year. I found it somewhere in my laptop and actually found this quite... nice. I think I wanted to edit this but just couldn't alter anything, then left it sitting around, hoping some time after, I would be able to work some magic. But I guess sometimes it's nice on its own...

It's my presentation for my ISP tomorrow, and after that I'll be free! And I can start on Chris Carter's The Executioner. But oh, I have to work on the TEDx Youth Day pictures first. Hahaha, okay here's a beautiful song for you all :*

Labels: ▼, Writings

<sub>a.
i am sad
but not enough to pull
the right words out
of the air to make
you believe me
when i say i'm
not fine.


b.
i am everything
but happy. i only
wish to know where
you are
when i'm unable
to make it on
my own.


c.
as i watch the tears
of the blackest stars
d r i p, d r i p ,
d r i p
down my windowpane,
i look up to the
same night sky we're under,
wondering if this
is really worth it all.


d.
my mind is (almost) blank,
like a freight train running
through the dead
of the night.
where to?
what for?
who from? nobody knows,
and is there even
an answer?


e.
i am sad
and just maybe enough.
maybe someone (else)
out there might
just see it.</sub>

Labels: ▼, Writings

<sub>One second.

All it takes is one second to break the silence, one second to take a breath, one second to move a muscle. Just one second to pick up the pistol, load it up, pull the trigger. Only one second to create a life, save a life, take a life.

One second.

Yet my lips are sealed. It's been this way for a 'long' just short enough of forever for there's just a chance that all may fall apart if a breath escaped. It's almost hard to breathe through this stale, musty air with this putrid stench held in by the weaves of a countless intricate lies, but it's still managable. Nothing hurts as much as that burn on my chest. And all it takes is just one second to think, to plot, to set an idea into action.

One second.

The pistol sits on the table, bullets by the left and a cellphone on the other. All is quiet as it has always been. There's nothing left to do but all it takes is just one second to draw out possibilities, to sum it all up, to reach a decision.

And just maybe, this time, it won't be too late.</sub>

If there need be a reason for anyone of you to reach me, you should know how to. If you really need me, you should know where to find me.



Oh, Jonah Tate.

Labels: ▼, Writings

and it's like returning back home from a storm, only to remember you've always been alone. but it's okay, and as you close the door, there is no warmth, there is nobody. this is what you've wanted. there's only you here, and silence in your heart. outside, they're all clawing at the openings, dying to get in but you hear nothing, there is only silence. it is as quiet as the darkest hour of the night, and there is no need for hospitality. and this silence comes not from held words, but from those that've already been said, talking that've already been done.

it's like coming back home from a storm, but it's not really home. this place, it sparks familiarity and security. you don't understand or know why, this feels strange but you want it all the same. and it's okay, every thing is for that split second, and nothing hurt. the silence in your heart, it's screaming and thrashing and trying to hurt but all you can feel is relief.


-

Happy PatrickStump day! c: Oh happy day!

Labels: Writings

another thursday evening and it's drizzling. commuters weave their way through blurry bright lights and false smiles under the grey sky. it is quiet and all is silent, save the sporadic dripdripdr-i-p-ping of raindrops hitting the pavement coupled with the monotonous drone of cars and buses. there's grace under their masks and you're trying to hide the tape which holds you together that's sticking out of your mask. a little glimmer of light from above catches your eye and you deviate from the path, dragging me along with the invisible thread we've bound each other with. as we continue, you smile, walking crookedly and concentrating on your own happiness.

what a miserable day it is, for several reasons we can't tell. we continue walking. but upward, not forward. it is nearly dark and all i can see is our shadows but you say you can see my colour, and it is dark grey. when i ask what about yours, you say you cannot see. i quietly mumble that we probably are not able to see ourselves and tonight, indeed, i feel stronger and more sinister, deeper, darker, more evil.

then you stop, high above in view of the city skyline. a cool breeze ruffles your precious dark brown curls. all the years of living in a daze and flurry of work, the only moments of real clarity that return, are the moments spent with you. it feels terrible to be alone and i thank god for you, i thank god for you. you've been so good to me. but what i'm going to do what i should not do, but for you, i will. teary-eyed, i take a step back as you take a step forward, leaving us two steps apart. i look away.

black-inked wings;
the horizon's edge
kissing you

Labels: Writings

a petal. another petal. then a flower.

it’s the season. the sakura flowers are in bloom.

i smile to myself as i snuggled deeper into the scarf wound around my neck. it is indescribably beautiful, taking in the wonderful light pink foliage from where i was seated on the park’s bench. the gentle morning rays of light played a delightful role too, casting beautiful silhouettes of the trees upon the walkway.

what a beautiful morning, it is. i watch the fluffy magnolia clouds roll leisurely across the azure sky, completely unaware of the stranger that sat down beside me.

we nod and exchange smiles, an unspoken conversation. then we go back to enjoying the solitude. it is really amazing how there is such unrivalled beauty in this decaying world, but what’s more amazing is how there is no awkward silence between this stranger and i.

“tea?” he asked, just as i turned to face him. as i nodded, he took a fallen sakura and placed it in my hand.

“i’d love to.”


---


There are so many things I wish to get out of my system, so many things I want to let out, so many things I want to share with everyone. I just need some time to rationalise with my feelings and it will all come out rationally someday.

I have to admit, my mind is in such a whirl right now. It is in a state of utter chaos, words flying everywhere, spinning into a tornado. It's total pandemonium, there's no space to breathe... but I like it as it is, I like the mess. It's been so long since I've been drowned in emotion-filled words, I missed it all. Such familiarity flooding back to me - I've missed you so. Welcome back, I promise never to leave you behind ever again.

I missed you, my dear words.

Labels: Writings

it is a beautiful wednesday afternoon and we are just walking alone. i watch you kick fallen leaves in your path and smile. a gentle mid september wind breeze past and swept the leaves out of your way. a cute frown creased across your forehead and i thought if i were the soft autumn breeze, you were the harsh winter storm, merciless to the underdressed and unfeeling to the unarmed. uncontainable like the winds of mother nature, you are a free spirit, you belong to no one. nobody could tie you down and i start to wonder what i am doing.

Labels: ▼, Writings